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This doesn’t make sense. I haven’t ever felt this way about someone, and its been in the back of my mind for so long, i wish i could scream i love you. Its overwhelming how much i care and love this person. i wish they could be mine, and i could be theirs, but i know it will never happen.. i am just ugh.. im trying so hard.
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i really would like to just leave, and forget all of the people who really couldnt care less, i just want to be left alone, just forget me so its easier to forget you.
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So i just came back on tumblr, first time in forever, and i found out the blog made for me by a friend is deleted :x, thats cool, but yeah i have plenty of reasons to be mad right now but i really dont care that much about any of them, im just chilling, Im gonna smile, and if you are about to make me angry, im ignoring you so hardcore. and its funny i cared so much about this one person, and now its completely different and all they do is make me angry, its weird, oh well i really am just gonna go eat food and care about nothing. Its bad that im not caring about anything, but its who i am now, and am i sorry? Hell no. later <3
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I really have said so much, and thought so many things, im lost in myself, i really have to look and the mirror and question what is there, im questioning who i am. I really don’t even feel like i know me, Right now im happy.
happy now but will i be tomorrow, what will change, why am i feeling lost, in a room by myself.
I think its about that time to get over myself and talk it out,
i need help,
from people that i know will be there,
people who can honestly look me in the eye, and tell me that they care.
Apparently everything is gonna work out, yet nothing has changed. Im gonna stop trying with a few things. i need to stop caring about so many things, starting now.
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Im not letting anything, at all, bother me today, yet it somewhere bothers me, that it looks like it completely unimportant to you, or well it is, Sometimes xD. Oh well, happy
1.Laughing with people
2.Not caring about things i shouldn’t.
3.Not over thinking.
4.Hanging out with my buddy, i hope him and i become closer again, nice to chill with him at the library.
5.Walking home, rapping with my friend again, Old times xD
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Once again, some things bothered me, like people not caring enough to say something first, why do i have to?, but anyway. im chilling, dont like it, shut up and say nothing then :).
1. Laughing and making jokes like i used to.
2. meeting a nice women at a bus stop
3. Going into main street to tell cars to go around a broken down car, i hope that lady has a better day :/. she seemed upset with reason.
4. Reading old conversations with one of my friends, who i got very distant with, and because of an old friend, i can’t get close to them again, yay, lol i hate complications, oh well.
5. Being right about someone not caring enough, or at all, but they will when it benefits them. it was still funny to be right.
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bad moments but making the best of it. im living in my moment, and every second is an opportunity to live my life and be happy, too the fullest right?
1.Talking to someone in my second class, she’s what i needed right then.
2.Being with people i care about.
3. accepting, not everything is going to go my way, things happen, and you just have to make the best of them. i really am improving
4. playing games with my friend at the library.
5. Seeing friends at randolph cafe.
I love my life, im done being upset, because if im upset with life, im upset with something i love. and i can’t have that! While i fall, im gonna keep my head up <3
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This is the first daily journal, im going to make myself happy, by writing all the good things down, every day, im going to post on tumblr, i may not be super happy right now, but this will help i think. If you don’t want to see the posts, just un follow me, i really don’t care. this is for me.
1.Hung out with people i thought i wouldn’t who made my day better
2. Reading a friends note, super awesome to see she cares.
3. Hearing another persons response to my note, seeing another person try to help
4.reading a text from another person, showing they cared
5. Trying to pick up the pieces of everything broken.
Im shut down. could be temporary, but i have no interest of turning back currently. If you cared about me, it will hurt you, im sorry.
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